I am a sick, sick man

And you thought Mr. T was bad.

And for those who missed Mr. T.

Quick one

Guy walks into a blacksmith's because he sees a help wanted sign. They go through the basics, then the blacksmith asks, "How are you at shoeing horses?" Guy thinks about it for a second then says, "Well, I've never done that before, but I did tell a donkey to piss off once."